SOHO — DoorDash, Uber, and Grubhub are in tears after miserably losing an appeal that would have saved them from the obligations of paying delivery workers a living wage. None of the companies used the ruling to reflect on their values or even sneakily rebrand as one of those fancy “tip-free” restaurants that include labor in the bill.
“We’re deeply disappointed about the decision to pay delivery workers the bare minimum to support themselves in one of the most expensive cities in the country,” DoorDash CEO Tony Xu commented on the ruling. “I started DoorDash with the intent to disrupt. And by ‘disrupt,’ I meant the lives and families of others.”
DoorDash later released a passive-aggressive statement with similar sentiments.
A spokesperson for Grubhub said the higher wage “prevents [Grubhub] from hiring an army of desperate contractors” and discourages tipping “because delivery workers will not have to live off of the scraps of tips anymore.”
The ruling allowed some time to transition into a new business model, but sources say that execs are currently scrambling to figure out what a legitimate business model even looks like.
In a leaked recording of an all-hands at Uber, one employee admitted they had lost count of how many times the company had been sued over wage theft this year alone. Another asked if this meant raises and promotions would be deferred for the fourth year in a row.
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