UPTOWN — This morning, the administrations of both Columbia University and the City College of New York (CCNY) held a rare, joint press conference. Both schools specified their institutions supported only occupations declared unlawful by multiple international organizations, and that support did not extend to students protesting that occupation through occupying campus property.

“Seizing land through means of violence and living on it is not okay,” said CCNY President Vincent Boudreau. “We reinforce these concepts in our history classes on colonialism, sociology courses on organized movements, and international political science classes on authoritarian regimes, so I don’t know why our students are acting like this.”

President Boudreau delivered the remarks, while Columbia University sent a spokesperson in place of President Minouche Shafik. Unconfirmed reports say that Dr. Shafik was spotted in a blue hoodie and sunglasses last night yelling, “she doesn’t even go here,” at the protesters right before the NYPD action.

Before making the call, Columbia University cited concerns over the presence of non-student protesters, despite the fact campus has recently been open to only CUID holders. For the NYPD, CCNY was just up the street from there, easily accessible by military-grade armored vans.

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