MIDTOWN — In a desperate attempt to save their jobs and keep the city’s libraries open, New York Public Library workers have begun disguising themselves as NYPD officers. The librarians in particular have donned fake badges adorned with Dewey Decimal numbers.
The move comes in response to Mayor Eric Adams’ recent announcement to cut nearly $60 million from the city’s library budget, while giving nearly that same amount to the police force. The Director of the Stavros Niarchos Foundation Library, Orion Hamilton, said it started as a joke, but that after receiving a City Hall email the NYPL could possibly lose more funding, library leadership decided to commit to the bit.
“We told [the Mayor’s office] that NYPL actually stands for ‘New York Police Library,’ and that there had been an oversight mistake,” recalled Hamilton. “They were a little confused at first, but we assured them that it was a new safety initiative that doubled as a PR stunt to prove that cops can, in fact, read. Once we cleared that up, the office apologized and immediately wired over funding for a new book sorting robot.”
Hamilton encourages other municipal programs facing budget cuts to try the tactic for themselves. “NYCHA should rebrand into ‘New York Cop Housing Authority’ and see what they can get.”
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