NEW YORK — In a stunning turn of events, New York Governor Kathy Hochul and New York City Mayor Eric Adams have both been diagnosed with severe cases of the rare but highly contagious foot-in-mouth disease.
The ailment was first detected earlier this month when Governor Hochul boldly declared that “young Black kids growing up in the Bronx who don’t even know what the word ‘computer’ is.” To make matters worse, Hochul made these comments while in California.
Not one to be outdone, Mayor Adams succumbed to the same affliction a few days later.
In a press conference last week, Eric Adams suggested that the influx of asylum seekers could help solve the city’s lifeguard shortage because many have had to swim or wade through water on their dangerous journey seeking safety here in the United States.
“How do we have a large body of people that are in our city, and country, that are excellent swimmers and at the same time we need lifeguards?” Mayor Adams pondered aloud.
Health officials say Adams’ case is more severe, as he doubled down on his words, while Hochul has since apologized.
Nonetheless, sources say both are on a strict regimen of shutting the hell up and a 5mg dose of Quieticus. New Yorkers are advised to steer clear of the two leaders, as exposure can cause severe eye-rolling.
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